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Thoughts of the week....

This looks like one of those ‘which is the odd one out’ photos on I’ve Got News For You (which I don’t watch any more as it is a bit hackneyed). It is though a collection of pics of things I said I'd update from last week. Here is one of the the Hans Wegner chairs. I didn’t think until after I’d bought them online that they could be awfully uncomfortable like some dining chairs can be, but thankfully they are good to sit in. The papercord seat gives a bit so is fine unless you are wearing shorts or a mini skirt.

They were delivered from London by two huge men, both as big as, if not bigger than Adam from Love Island. Still no friends watching, but I am waiting for Ann to catch up so I can discuss with somebody. I read a post on Facebook sneering at the Love Island girls for their limited knowledge of Brexit - either never heard of Brexit and/or the EU - which was just some people who thought it gave them licence to feel superior. And not just superior, with one suggesting that 'thick' people should be culled! I responded with what I hope was a suitable put down, fearing getting trolled but actually I only got agreement.

Another visitor was the Bengal cat which lives with the breeder up the road; a very handsome cat which comes and sits on one of our garden chairs and enjoys a stroke. I am considering getting a cat but there are several in the neighbourhood and I don’t want to start a turf war. Another neighbour told me about the previous owner's cat that got killed by the combine harvester in the field outside our kitchen which I don’t want to think about too much. I have Staircase on Netflix to think about; only episode 1 but she looked more as if she'd been hit by farm machinery than fallen down the stairs.

The picture of some lovely pots is from a local potter called Andrew Douglas whose studio we visited during Norfolk Open Studios. There are over 250 artists studios that are open over a 3 week period that you can visit to just look at or to buy from.

I am not sure what the plant in the picture is but we have a few of them in the garden; I am told it may be a Fox and Cubs which is a nice name for a plant, maybe because it has one main flower and several 'babies', and it is apparently a weed. It is a rusty orange colour and looks good in the flower bed with the lupins so it will not be weeded!

I am becoming fed up with waiting for my cardio appointment, although it’s now the week after next so not far off. Then I guess I’ll have to wait for the angiogram appointment. I feel like I’m in limbo between two possible outcomes - transplant or not transplant- neither of which is anything to look forward to. But limbo is not good either.

I was thinking (still angry!) about how we’re constantly being told how or what to feel, eg the stages of grief which they say you also go though after a diagnosis of serious illness, although I looked that up just now and was relieved to read that: ‘The stages have evolved since their introduction and have been very misunderstood over the past four decades. They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages’. The treatment the NHS prescribes as the universal panacea for everybody with 'low' mood is CBT which tells us both what and how we're supposed to to think.

I’ve often read that when people are really ill or faced with their own mortality everything is put into perspective, that it’s family that counts really, so you can cast aside your material desires as they aren’t important. Well I still care about whether I have the right tea towels and that my life won’t be complete unless I have a new laundry basket (I'm currently obsessed with baskets for some reason). Of course it’s all relative but you don’t need to be facing death to understand that your husband is more important than a tea towel!

COPD sites bang on about the normality of feeling depressed and include formulaic and patronising prescriptions for ways to ‘keep active’ and ‘fight the blues’. I don’t include in that the peer support groups, which do acknowledge the normality of despondency without trying to ‘jolly’ things up.

I have always had a cynical side so good to know I’ve still got it. Nothing to be done other than to paint my toenails with my new red nail varnish and look forward to the progress on the house, although next week is the replacement double glazing which is a bit dull.

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