Today I am supposed to go on the transplant list. But I am convinced that something else is going to come up to delay it again.
Yesterday we went to Brancaster to enjoy the blue sky and empty landscape. I took this photo on the way when Martin took the Landrover down a track in the middle of nowhere.
All the usual beaches were rammed as it was half term (and the weather was spring-like) but Brancaster has a spot which is no good for walking and was nice and quiet apart part from a few birds: little Stoneturners rushing around, a nice yellow beaked Oystercatcher, and a sort of Egret as well as the usual gulls.
I started a 4 week breathlessness group in Norwich last week which is supposed to offer advice on managing breathing better and covers things like anxiety and relaxation. We did a visualised relaxation which I’m not best suited to; when the occupational therapist suggested clearing our minds I just saw my cleaner sweeping up with a broom in my head.
Anyway I will persevere with it.
Lucy visited at the weekend with Flora and Zoe who I always like to see, even though they disturb the peace somewhat but I guess that’s the point. I was looking forward to watching the Voice with Zoe but it has become such a circus- people's dogs and small children being paraded- that we switched off early. And Pen and Claire are arriving tomorrow for a couple of days.
I did some painting that I quite like, after mixing some nice greens:
This afternoon in the group art we are doing a flower still life so in celebration of that here are some beautiful Ann Redpath flower paintings:
I doubt I will produce anything as wonderful but at least when I'm painting my mind is taken off thinking about breathing and transplants. It is very difficult thinking and writing about anything when there is this overwhelming thing as a constant backdrop.
Well, perhaps I will be on the list and I'll see how my mind becomes focussed then. Lucy helped me pack my overnight bag that you are told to have ready at all times so I just have to shop for some mini facial stuff and I'm good to go. I'm going to use it as an opportunity to try out some of the plant based retinol creams (Bakuchiol) that are supposed to be less irritating than retinol.